In the previous part of this lesson, we saw an illustration that demonstrated how to provide feedback when one is hurt.
This part of the lesson explains the statements used by the person who is hurt in the illustration, to convey his feedback – in terms of his feelings and a request to refrain from using such words or actions in the future – to the person who had hurt him.
Browse the video to learn more and don’t forget to take the quiz at the end of the lesson.
Communicating Anger: How to Provide Feeback When You are Hurt – A Debrief of the Illustration
In this video, you observed Aamir using the AOA model to structure his feedback. AOA, as you would recollect from the previous lesson, stands for:
AOA is an acronym for:
Action: (Behaviour addressed)
Outcome: (How you feel about the action)
Alternative Action: (Request for change in the behaviour addressed)
Only, you would have noticed Aamir employing, what communication skills experts call, ‘I statement’ or ‘I -messages’ when doing so. The verbiage he employs to point to Reema’s action which affected him is “When I was rebuked, and that too, in front of my team members.” This is an I-statement.
He uses an I-Statement to explain the OUTCOME of Reema’s actions when he says “it impacts me deeply. It leaves me feeling humiliated and subsequently demotivated and also unable to focus on my work…” Lastly, he uses I-statements to communicate the ALTERNATIVE action sought (“I want to request you to give me all the feedback on the development project only one-on-one, rather than in public.”)
