01. Why one must possess the ability to flex their conflict management style

It’s the end of the week, and Pramod, AVP-Operations, Yarns Pvt. Ltd. is in his cabin, deep in thought, and very confused. Pramod had a bit of a rough week with people in his office. There were two instances in particular where things really got out of hand. One involving Supriya, Procurement Head and the other involving Surya, Manufacturing Unit Head. What has got Pramod so perplexed though is how diverse the consequences of his actions in both those instances turned out. To add to the confusion, Pramod cannot see how he could have dealt with either of those situations any differently than he did.Let’s go back to Monday – the day the first instance occurred – and see what happened back there. Things went haywire with a super high-value customer, and Supriya was involved…

SUPRIYA: Good Morning, Pramod. You called…

PRAMOD: (Interrupts Supriya) What the hell is going on, Supriya? What’s with this escalation from Prime Supplies? This is serious and ridiculous at the time. Why has the consignment still not reached the client? This is the third time they’ve followed up in the past week. We’ll lose their business at this rate, that’s a guarantee.

SUPRIYA: Sir, we were unable to procure the goods from the vendor on time. In fact, I sent you an email regarding this issue. I wanted your help in figuring out the best way to respond to the client about the delay and request for more time in dispatching the goods.

PRAMOD: (Speaks sharply) Listen, Supriya, and listen well. We will lose Prime Supplies, if they don’t get that consignment by this Friday. Procure the goods from another vendor asap. Close the deal today and get 50 bales of raw wool in no later than tomorrow afternoon. Today is Monday, if we start work even by tomorrow evening, we should be able to get the consignment to them on time by Friday. That’s a reasonable timeframe. I’ll speak to my counterpart at Prime Supplies and let them know.

SUPRIYA: (alarmed) But Sir, we have already placed the order for 50 bales of raw wool with our vendor. We can’t just cancel it now. I am not convinced about this proposed change of vendors. This is not our fault, I’m sure Prime Supplies will see sense, if we explain the situation to them. Besides, I need my team to weigh in on this issue too.

PRAMOD: (Looks annoyed and yells) There’s no time for democratic team discussions, Supriya. You do exactly as I say. I care about the my client. I care about being fair to them. And I hate the fact that my company has let them down. I don’t care to go back and give them more excuses. And I’m fine with you not being convinced. Get on it, Supriya! How you manage it is not my concern.

SUPRIYA: (Frustrated and worried) But Sir, I will follow up with our existing vendor and…

PRAMOD: (Pramod abruptly interrupts again) Sorry Supriya, But this conversation is over as far as I’m concerned. Please do as I have instructed. I expect a full update on those 50 bales by this evening. And let me know when the bales arrive at our facility. That’s all for now! Thank you.

The second instance occurred on Wednesday. This time too, a super high-customer was involved. And Surya was in the spotlight…

PRAMOD: (Pramod sits across Surya in his cabin. Looks mildly irritated) Surya, I thought I made myself crystal clear on this. Why are we talking about this again? We are extremely lucky to have received such a large order from Irish Linen. The size of the order has got everyone excited, we’ve been waiting for this a long time. If we don’t engage with them now, they’ll get the impression we can’t handle that scale of business. So, get your team to pull up their socks and go make the necessary arrangements. This has to get done!

SURYA: (Serious tone) Pramod, the reason I wanted to have a word with you is that it is simply not possible to arrange for the bulk order in the time frame given by the client. I’m telling you right now that if we pressurize the manufacturing team to churn out more output at such a feverish pace, the quality of the product is bound to get affected, and no one wants that. We can handle the scale of business, but there has to be a reasonable timeframe too. Why are we saying yes to this impossible deadline?

PRAMOD: (Speaks in a sharp, intimidating manner) Surya, I’ll say this to you once. My job is to figure out how to get the company cash registers ringing. My job is not to figure out your job for you. I’m sure you’ll find a way to affect favorable outcomes here. No one complains when the bonuses come in, no?

SURYA: Say what you want, Pramod. But we have to take everything into consideration before committing to our client, especially Irish Linen. The quality of our product has to speak for itself, and that definitely beats quantity. Now I suggest we speak to Mahesh, the unit manager. It makes good sense to get him into our discussion, especially if we’re looking to speed up production. This is important because…

PRAMOD: (Pramod interrupts Surya yet again. Speaks in a rude manner) What is wrong with you? Are you saying you can’t handle this by yourself? Well, I don’t need or want to speak to anyone. I know exactly what this company needs, and I have told you what you need to do. I worry about bringing in the revenue and you worry about how to deliver. And I think it’s possible, by the way. Now, time is of the essence and I have much to do. Is there anything else?

SURYA: (Looks exasperated. Throws his hand up in a gesture that says ‘I give up’)

As it turned out, Pramod was right on the ball with the conversation that happened with Supriya. Supriya might have been a little disturbed by Pramod’s controlling behaviour but she followed his instructions to the T. Even though valuable time was lost, Prime Suppliers were pleased that Pramod turned the situation around without any further delay. It was a very critical shipment, with staggering losses occurring had it not gone through when it did. It also came to light that had there been any delay, Prime Suppliers would rethink Yarns Pvt. Ltd as it’s preferred vendor and consider starting business ties with Yarns Pvt. Ltd’s closest competitor.

As for that conversation with Surya though, things went drastically wrong. After that heated exchange with Pramod, Surya instructed his team to work on the bulk order. As he had foretold, there was a significant drop in the product quality which did not go unnoticed by the client. Irish Linen suspends all big-ticket contracts with Yarns Pvt. Ltd, and go back to BAU small orders.

Debrief
Do you see what Pramod was so confused? (Show clip of Pramod looking confused)

He behaved quite consistently in both situations. And his intentions were good. He was acting in the company’s financial interest both times. And yet, it didn’t work out in the case of Irish Linen. In truth, Pramod realized on introspection that his style of dealing with such situations worked sometimes but failed at other times. What puzzled Pramod was why this was happening. What could be better than behaving consistently, especially in a professional environment?

Truth is, effective conflict management does not lend itself well to a blanket approach in that, what works fabulously well as a behavior style in a particular situation may flop miserably in a different situation.

This is the mistake most people make, like Pramod.

Now, to understand how to deal with conflict situations effectively, it is important to understand two things:
1) What are these conflict management behavioral styles anyway?
2) Why do people develop a preferred style of dealing with conflict, even though they realise it doesn’t work all the time?

Let’s start with the first question.

What are conflict management styles?

Most authorities on conflict management, like Thomas, K.W., and R.H. Kilmann and Dr. Ronald Kraybill organize responses to conflict based on two dimensions, namely
i) Cooperativeness – How inclined is one to satisfy the other person’s needs/concerns
ii) Assertiveness – How inclined in one to satisfy their own needs/ concerns

These two dimensions of behavior can be used to define five methods of dealing with
conflict. Consider the following diagram for illustration:

Let’s describe each behavior mode, starting with
1. Competing/Directing – This is the “I win- you lose” approach. You act in a very assertive way to achieve your goals, without seeking to cooperate with the other party, and it may be at the expense of the desires and goals of other party.
2. Avoiding – This is when one chooses to simply avoid the issue. You aren’t helping the other party reach their goals, and you aren’t assertively pursuing your own. The motto at work here is “You lose, I lose”
3. Accommodating/Harmonising – This is when you cooperate to a high-degree, and it may be at your own expense, and actually work against your own goals, objectives, and desired outcomes. The motto at work here is “You win- I lose”
4. Collaborating/Cooperating – This is where you partner or pair up with the other party to achieve both of your goals. Here cooperation and assertiveness are both high, and the motto is “I win – you win”. The objective here is to find a solution that is better that each party’s individual preference put together.
5. Compromising – This is the “I win some, lose some- You win some, lose some” scenario where neither party gets exactly what they want. This requires a moderate level of assertiveness and cooperation.
And there you have it. Those are the five possible responses available in any conflict situation, and as behaviour patterns, they form five conflict management styles.

As you may have guessed, each of these styles works well in very specific sets of circumstances and may fail if the circumstances are interchanged. We’ll explore this in the next lesson. For now, let’s move on to the second question.

Why are people prone to overusing one style of conflict management?

This is primarily out of habit. Most of us rely on one or two approaches to handling conflict because of the way we were raised, our job responsibilities, past experiences, or even cultural norms. When we use a certain style again and again, we develop the necessary skill sets to support that behaviour. For e.g. to use the Directive/Competing style, one needs to be persuasive, insistent and controlling. Once we develop a set of skills, we become comfortable using the associated behaviour. And thus, because we are comfortable with some modes more than others, we tend to develop a preference of style and then, we tend to overuse one or two styles. But if we use it automatically, in almost all conflicts, without awareness that we are using it or that other responses are also available, we set ourselves up for difficulty.

Quite naturally this creates unintended consequences. It is therefore imperative to expand our conflict handling options, improve our awareness, refine our existing conflict handling skills and even develop new ones.

Which style do you reckon Pramod had a preference for? Correct, it was the Directing/Competing style.

In Summary
Two dimensions of behavior can be used to define five methods of dealing with conflict, namely
i) Cooperativeness – How inclined is one to satisfy the other person’s needs/concerns
ii) Assertiveness – How inclined in one to satisfy their own needs/ concerns
These five methods/modes are:

1) Competing/Directing
2) Avoiding
3) Accomodating/Harmonising
4) Collaborating/Cooperating
5) Compromising

People develop style preferences out of repeated use and convenience driven by strong associated skills.

Each of these five behavior modes works well in a certain specific set of circumstances, and fails miserably if the circumstances are interchanged. We’ll deal with this topic in the next lesson.

For now, please take the accompanying quiz.