Thus far, we had a look at the importance of maintaining mutual respect as a precursor for mastering conflict resolution conversations. Next, we explored the first two markers namely:
…and how to lead conversations through them too.
Remember to take the accompanying quiz at the end of the lesson.
Phases of a Negotiation – IV
This far, we had a look at the importance of maintaining mutual respect as a precursor for mastering conflict resolution conversations. Next, we explored the first two markers namely:
- Create a safe, respectful environment conducive to mutual dialogue.
- Agree on Goals (The Big Picture)
…and how to lead conversations through them too. Time to move on then. In this lesson, we will examine the third marker. Let go straight to…
3. Clarify Interests:
Identifying a shared goal, as in marker 2 is brilliant, but it’s not enough. A change of perspective means nothing if there’s no change of strategy to support it. Here’s the problem: When we’re in a conflict situation, it’s usually because we’re asking for one thing and the other person is asking for something else. In truth, we’re not asking for what we want. We’re asking for the strategy we’re suggesting to get what we want. In short, we want to get what we want exactly the way we want it. That’s the real problem.
The best way to break this stalemate is asking the other party why they want what they want, or why do they want it to happen in that particular way?
Next, clarify your own interests. State why you want what you want, or why you want it to happen in a particular way?
It is important that both parties understand each other’s interests.
In the video with Sanjana and Dinesh, the conversation comes to a very interesting junction. Observe how Sanjana manages this segment of the conversation.
04:14 Dinesh “See I’m very clear on what I want.
Right up to
06:11 Sanjana: “I understand you’ve had some bad experiences and are now reluctant to trust vendors, but assuming that none of them have scruples is going a bit too far, don’t you think? If we don’t treat vendors with respect they might just refuse to work with us in the future”
Sanjana proceeded to clarify interests, both Dinesh’s and her own. And then she validated them explicitly, making clear why she holds the perspective she does. She also explored to identify why Dinesh holds the interests he has communicated thus far.
Once you understand people’s intent, and they understand yours, the focus is no longer strategy. The focus switches to real purpose and needs. And with that, the possibility of finding new alternatives opens up significantly.
In Summary
We have now covered three of six conversation markers. In this lesson we looked at the significance of Clarifying Interests, the third marker which stresses on the importance of both parties understanding each other’s interests, especially when two parties are at loggerheads on HOW they want something done, more than WHAT they actually need resolved. The best way to break this stalemate is asking the other party why they’re insisting on a particular way – and then stating why you recommend a particular way.
In the next lesson, we’re going to look at the fourth marker. For now, please take the accompanying quiz to proceed.
