Style Matters

Section 1

When I first discover that difference exist and feelings are not yet high

A. So long as feelings are under control, I push to bring our differences out into the open and try to find a solution that benefits both of us.(Required)
B. If the disagreement has not escalated to a high level, I focus on achieving what is important to me rather than worrying about what’s important to the other person.(Required)
C. When feelings are still low-key, I look for a compromise that gives each of us a little of what we want.(Required)
D. I try to head off trouble before it begins by steering away from difficult issues.(Required)
E. In a mild disagreement, I am likely to go along with the other person’s wishes in order to keep things peaceful.(Required)
F. When I am in a disagreement but my emotions are not yet fully aroused, I give priority to harmony and set aside my personal preferences as necessary to achieve peace.(Required)
G. When the disagreement is still low-key, I put as much effort into understanding the other side’s views as I put into explaining my own.(Required)
H. If tension is not yet high, I focus more on making sure that my opinions are heard than on keeping the other person happy.(Required)
I. In the early stage when people are not yet upset, I deal with differences by finding ways to postponed the discussion.(Required)
J. When emotions are not yet high, I deal with differences by offering to give up some things in exchange for others.(Required)

Section 2

If differences persist and feelings escalate...
K. If the conflict gets heated, I make a lot of effort to get us to work together in finding a solution that we are both happy with.(Required)
L. As emotions rise, I focus more on my goals and less on how others feel about things.(Required)
M. When feelings escalate in an argument, I seek a solution where both parties win some and lose some.(Required)
N. When I am upset in a disagreement, I withdraw from discussion so that neither side gets what they want.(Required)
O. If the conflict gets too intense, prefer to set aside my needs and let the other person have what they want rather than threaten our relationship.(Required)
P. When an argument gets really intense, I decide that the differences aren’t worth all the hassle and drop the discussion.(Required)
Q. If the conflict gets too intense, My attention goes to strategies to get what is important to me rather than to protecting the relationship.(Required)
R. When things get heated, I let the other person have their way.(Required)
S. When an argument gets really intense, I put a lot of effort into advancing the conversation in such a way that it meets everyone’s goals.(Required)
T. When tempers are high, I try to move on by seeking a deal that gives everyone some but not all of what they want.(Required)

A
5
G
5

Calm

K
5
S
5

Storm

Cooperating
B
5
H
5

Calm

L
5
Q
5

Storm

Directing
C
5
J
5

Calm

M
5
T
5

Storm

Compromising
D
5
I
5

Calm

N
5
P
5

Storm

Avoiding
E
5
F
5

Calm

O
5
R
5

Storm

Harmonizing
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